Fantasy Football Team Names

by John Clifton

Funny Fantasy Football Team Names

In my experience, fantasy football team names matter. Maybe it's because the person who spends no time on their ff team name tends to spend no time on building a good fantasy franchise, but the fantasy football teams with bad names always seem to be among the worst in the league. Scouring the league sites, you'll find good team names, bad team names, and funny fantasy football team names. The funniest team name in the league is certain to get the most attention, so here are some ideas for finding a better and funnier fantasy football team name than your rivals.

Sample Funny Fantasy Football Team Names

I don't want to get into long lists of names other people have used, but I did want to give you a sample list of good ff team names. A good team name should be relatively short, catchy, and somehow evoke either football imagery, locker room talk, or a quick laugh of any sort. Notice that few of the following potential franchise names have anything to do with one another--they just work. "Defending Champs" works, because you won't always be the league champion. When you are, you especially rub that fact in to your competitors. When you're not, the name spreads confusion and chaos when people are referring to your franchise.

Drinking and sex are always good subjects for fantasy football franchise names. These are things most guys enjoy and fit within the locker room humor most of us found when playing football, or sitting around watching college and NFL football games with our buddies. Names that reference NFL players, team owners, football media members, and the league commissioner are almost always gold, especially if you can add a unique twist or insight. When invoking personalities, always stick with someone associated with football and don't bring in lame stuff like politics.

BYOB
Always Next Year
James Harrison
Revenge is Mine!
Dead Man's Hand
Alcoholics Anonymous
Jerry Jones's Face Lift
Elimination Round
Pigskin Prophets
Armchair Quarterbacks
Titletown
Scoreland
Brady Blows Manning
Defending Champs
Rug Munchers
Victorious Secret
4th and Long
Sudden Death
Concussion Force
Roger Goodell's Mama
One More Round
The Ickey Shuffle

Completing the Joke - Inside Jokes

The most overlooked part of a good team name is a funny fantasy football team logo. The name and the logo should go together. They don't have to have a literal connection to one another, but should dovetail in such a way to compliment each other, with the logo offering a punchline to the joke. For instance, I had a friend I hadn't seen in years who wanted to join my league a couple of years ago. When he handed me his business card, it had under his name "Spanish Wine Educator". That made me laugh and I made all the usual jokes about it. When it was time to add his team name to the league site, as a place-setter name, I decided to name his team "Spanish Wine Educators" as an inside joke.

I didn't want to spend too much time finding a photo, since it was going to be up a day or two, so I just Googled in "spanish wine educator" online and hit "images". On the first page, I see a painting of a Spanish-looking nobleman of centuries ago, bedecked in finery and palming his jacket somewhat above the hilt of his rapier in an effete manner. The painting, "Portrait of a Nobleman with His Hand on Chest" by El Greco, seemed perfect for the pretentiousness and haughtiness of the team name, though the two things had nothing to do with one another. The owner had a good sense of humor about it all and that became the name and logo of the team all year.

Funny Fantasy Football Team Logos

The important thing to remember is the team logo is hugely important to completing your funny fantasy football team name. Googling your team name and seeing what funny pictures come up is a good way to find serendipitous funny logos for your team name. Pictures of people and headshots usually are the best logo material, because you get about the right resolution for the small area it's going to occupy on the league's homepage, while personalizing the team and giving it a face. The last thing you want is to use the default cartoon helmet logos most fantasy football league management websites use, because it's such a give-up. If your team name is "The Hawks" and you have a cartoon bird on a cartoon helmet, that's a lame-ass team name and logo. Put five minutes into naming your team and you'll have a memorable franchise.

Bad Team Names

What I consider bad team names are those that are found in a hundred other leagues. Don't use NFL franchise team names, unless you add your own twist. "Browns", "Cowboys", and "Raiders" and a picture of the team helmet suck as fantasy football franchise names and logos. "Brown Stains", "Happy for the Fans", and "I Abstain" are a little more like it, especially if you follow that up with pictures of Peyton Hillis, Jerry Jones, and crazy ole Al Davis as your logo. You still show your allegiance to your team, but you add your personal stamp.

The same thing goes for other aspects of the pop culture. If you're a Jimmy Buffet fan, calling yourself the "Parrotheads" is only a marginal name--that doesn't make people laugh. You want to make people laugh, not turn them into Jimmy Buffett haters because they equate his act with your lousy fantasy football team.

Fantasy Football Name Generators

People who are really stuck for a name idea can find ideas by using a random name generator or a glossary of terms for ideas. These are two entirely different approaches to the problem. The first is to find something so absurb and silly-sounding that everyone is going to laugh, even if the name doesn't make any practical sense. The second idea is to find a term that everyone recognizes and make it yours. Here's a short list of ideas, though you can find other examples of both easily on the Internet.

Gangsta Name Generator - Rap act names make for great ironic fantasy football team names. This isn't one of those you have to put your name in to use, so just click until the appropriate name shows up.

Band Name Generator - On a related note, this band name generator gives you ideas from a number of musical genres: bluegrass, reggae, goth, emo, techno, hip-hip, metal, and prog rock. Not only that, but you can search the database of names already generated and learn which ones have been voted the favorites. You can browse a big list of names quickly.

Charlie Sheen Catch Phrase Generator - Nobody has a talent for nonsense like Martin Sheen's craziest son, so you might be able to glean a good long team name from this generator. If you want a team name like "My Balls Exonerate My Enemies" or "I Screw Like Hatred", use this random generator. Alternately, you can find one of his real quotes and use it.

American Football Glossary - If you want to go simple and basic, take a look at this list of American football terms and come up with a classic American sports term to swipe for your team name. If you want to get creative, create a pun based on one of these terms.

In either case, having a team picture or logo that completes the joke is pivotal. In the first case, you want to tie your team name into football, so find a picture of an NFL figure who most resembles the name you choose. In the second case, you can branch out into the pop culture and find something that expands the definition of the term, since everybody will recognize it as a football catchword.

Funny Fantasy Football Names List

Okay, I said I wouldn't do this, but in case you're desperate for a team name quickly and you're looking for something to insert right now, here's a list of team name ideas. These include team catchwords that have been popular in the past year or so, movies from the 1970's (most of them bad), a few good fantays football team names I've happened across and jotted down, and just oddball phrases that stuck in my head along the way. Go through this list, find one that jumps out at you, and you have your new fantasy football team name.

Vuvuzelas
Lady Gaga
Bieberize
Gleek
Bromance
Sexting
Don't Look Now
The Man Who Fell to earth
Bound for Glory
The Ruling Class
Chillaxin
Hair Crush
Ghost Shift
Skuke
Nimbleton
Seagen
Startle Factor
Blind Rage
Young Frankenstein
Forbidden Passion
Rime of the Ancient Mariner
Laughing Tears
Spirit Flutes
Joust
Snowshoe
Collateral Damage
Red Meat
Pelletgun
The Most Interesting Team in the World
Headbands
The Shambling Corpses
Facepaint
I Was Robbed!
Four Loko
Crotchal Area
Teabagging
Slaughterhouse Five
Invasion of the Bee Girls
Escape to Witch Mountain
Blame the Refs!
Refudiate
Eyjafjallajokull
Please Trade with Me
Socks and Jocks
The Jockstraps
Bodybag
Jeggings
Silly Bandz
Excessive Fines
Humdingers
Playing for Next Year (keeper league name)
Cocktease
Enter the Dragon
Heaven Can Wait
Badlands
Bloodsucking Freaks
Trouser Men
Smuggling Grapes
Chestal Region
Knuckle Sandwich
Bum Leg
Dewy Flower
Brobi Wan-Kenobi
Space Amoeba
Godzilla vs. Gigan
God Told Me To
The Cat from Outer Space
Deathsport
Hardcore Lesbian Ation
Keggers
Brand X
Teacher's Pets
Prodigal Sons
Damnation Alley
Race With The Devil
El Crappo
Rat Bastards
Quick Decision
The Gimp
Why So Serious??
Mister Googlehead
Porkchop
DangerRoss
Butterface
Basil Rathbone
Electronic Cigarettes
Cotton Balls
Safety Scissors
Rubber Sheets
Chopstick Helpers
Vanishing Cream
Canadian Bacon
Hitman
Redzone
Tapout
Ledbelly
Sons of Sam
Redneck Muthas
Choke the Chicken
Platypus
Big Wooly Mammoths
Red Hot Mamas
Little Devils